I recently was encouraged to engage in a rather interesting sociological experiment. The task was simple enough (or so it seemed…): find a person who appears to be morally down and offer them a candy as an act of random kindness. No problems, right… a seemingly mundane act…
To begin with, I had to find the appropriate individual. One who seems like they’d truly appreciate the kindness forthcoming. Discouragingly, I found choosing this unknown individual a challenging and oddly intimidating task.
The setting in which I endeavored to achieve this was on my usual commute across Vancouver via our various modes of public transportation. Encompassed in this is my standard trip on the Hastings Street 135 bus. As I sat secluded, pretending to be obsessed with the intellectual rigor in Joan Didion’s, The White Album, I was actually surreptitiously considering many different individuals as the appropriate applicant for the task. In doing so, I came to a troubling yet glaringly stark realization; we, as citizens, continue to give off an aura that inhibits all forms of random interaction. In other words, we give off an aura of truculent unfriendliness and a general reflection of antagonism. Whether knowingly or unknowingly remains to be seen, but the central point relics, a barrier surrounds us all in which it seems that any attempt by a random individual to ask a question or engage in any conversation will invariably lead to a tyrant of acrimonious dispute.
Accordingly, I struggled in finding the suitable individual and furthermore, was denied on my first attempt. For legitimate reasons, I do not know as the two white ear pieces were soon formulaically re-implanted back into their head. I told myself that the denial was rooted in some form of wariness over another pathetic loser trying to hit on her in an attempt to alleviate my emotional pains.
So… I moved on. Eventually, I did find a grateful and accepting applicant who did not question the inherent kindness in my act. She willingly accepted the candy and offered a sincere and genuine “thank you” in return. Mission complete.
Despite the fact that in due course I was able to find an appreciative candidate, I still am unsettled about how difficult I found this task to be. Do we always portray such emotional walls of nonacceptance and hostility? Do I? While I believe that the above offers an extreme example of the inhibitory nature that our mannerisms can have, I do nonetheless see more and more examples of daily citizenry ignorance and inconsideration. For example, I can barely keep track of the number of times I have seen young, athletic, and supposedly “intellectual” people occupy the front seats of a an overloaded bus, while leaving the elderly or a parent and their child struggling to stay sturdy in the hectic isles. Quite simply, this is utter ignorance and self-absorption at its worst. Apparently, our meaningless and pointless cellular conversations are so imperative that any consideration of ones social environment must yield obsolete. The fact that we can be so clueless and inconsiderate of the people surrounding us is a sad yet ever more prevalent fact.
Maybe I am expecting too much from humanity … however, I would like to contend otherwise.
1 comment:
Well, I for one do NOT think you are asking too much. Our society has gotten to the point in which you do not flinch when you see a girl sitting at a coffee shop typing on her lap top, talking on her cell phone with one head phone plugged into her free ear while balancing a Latte in the other hand. It's fucked, if you ask me. It seems that most people do not have any perspective of the reality of interaction, communication and sentiment that can occur, if you let it, between strangers. I know that as a female, you have to keep your wits about you. But, I also know that suburban bitches on the 135 are snobs. It's probably the only bus they have ever taken in their lives and are angrily doing so because Daddy said that this term he won't pay for a parking pass until she gets a job! I think that people need to relax and realize that being social and communicating with strangers isn't disgusting. Fuck, you might even be inspired or learn something. (As a writer I adore random conversation, it is my fucking material, so I guess I have a major bias to yield for crazies). Anyways, we are all just too scared of the obvious. The horror stories that were embedded in our heads as children do not fade away that easily. I mean, come on? Offering a girl a candy... hello... childhood Halloween fears...what if you had injected it with anthrax?!? or better yet GHB!?
Now, I'm not saying she should have taken your candy if she didn't want it. But, I mean, she could've at least said, "No thank you, I'm not hungry." In which case you could've told her about your experiment and possibly scored a date after some witty, scholastic banter. whatever, you don't want to date 'that' kind of girl anyways.
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